24fps: LAKEVIEW TERRACE

Where did Neil Labute go wrong? In the Company of Men was a fantastic and memorable debut but what has he come up with since? It seems the old adage is true. You really are only as good as your last movie. Still, if Neil is only as good as this, I’m not sure that would be so terrible. I mean it’s not the best film you’re going to see this year, but it sure as heck ain’t the worst either. Keep your expectations low and you might just enjoy it as DVD rental like I did. This is what counts as my idea of a movie to watch with the better, smarter half of those two people residing at Perridge Mansions. I can follow the story no matter how much natter I get in the left ear! Although it has to be said the sound recording was abysmal – I could barely make out the dialogue in some early scenes even when my left ear was free. As I suggest – the story itself is entirely run-of-the-mill though I have to say I do enjoy films where the director at least follows my first rule: Do nothing wrong! Nothing is so stupid you can’t live it for one hundred-plus minutes and Samuel L Jackson is actually called upon to act in some scenes and even if he’s not exactly straining himself it’s better to see him in this than playing XXX non-character Augustus Gibbons which is just humiliating. The racial theme never really develops fully (as I suspect nobody wants to see that film yet) so it remains a by-the-numbers thriller. I enjoyed it – for what it was. And Lady P thought it was a good’un too. Mind you we have more than a passing interest in the theme

ZUDA: BRO’BNZ HAMMER

Brother of Bronze Hammer by Andrew Alexander shows off some nice drawing and design skills – better than most it has to be said. Comics are by nature however a mix of certain skills and the recipe here is unfinished. It’s lovely to look at, there’s no denying that, but it’s another dull read. It’ll do reasonably well in the competition but it fails to address the key issue that will prevent the win (under any normal circumstances) and that is one of character joined to compelling narrative. I could sing at length about any of the individual pieces – I love the finishes and the attitude and even some of the movement within the panels, but panel to panel it all falls apart which is a shame. The point is surely that creators need to address the issue of what precisely and properly constitutes a comic. Would it be too much to ask for all those elements in a single Zuda submission?

Also there is probably a perfectly good explanation for the title, but I have a sense of the identikit about it. It’s not a criticism really – just an appreciation of the word association my brain plays for fun I guess. Brother of Bronze Hammer. Children of Bighand. Children of The Bronze Hammer Sound!?! Prizes available for the best confabulations of previous or current titles. Er … here’s mine: Love, Lust and a Giant Killer Dango!

ZUDA: WITCH PHASE

Zuda’s November competition features Witch Phase by Bryan Golden a colourful, lighthearted submission for junior readers. Within the first eight screens the science fiction element seemed a little redundant, but the computerised witches familiar called M.E.O.W and the sexy attitude towards the drawing of main character disguised any shortcomings for fans of Bewitched! If M.E.O.W doesn’t actually stand for anything it won’t come as any surprise to me. Neither do I desire an explanation as to why her hat doesn’t fit on her head – magic I suppose. If you do forgive the dazzle and flash of the artwork and the game console approach to story (which I do) the only real thing wrong with it is pace. Considering the space given the story doesn’t actually progress to any point where you could honestly say that you needed more. Where it scores highly is in the understanding that it’s an easy sell of an idea, not frighteningly original but nicely realised – all that’s missing is the story to throw it over.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

I gotta give myself something today so I think I’ll kick back and watch some soccer with my feet up – and I’ll leave you with a still from my half-thought-out video project. Really must get on with that soon!

WHAT?

What? I’m busy OK? Gosh, so busy! Great piles of stuff lying around. Can’t find anything. Scrapbooks might be tactile but honestly! Gotta scan all this crap in and do something with it. Hello? Neneh – awhhh! I can feel myself adopting a Buffalo Stance (ahem)! This one is for you Abdul.

I MADE MYSELF LAUGH AGAIN

… and that way lies madness! But I carry on regardless over at my little concession – just let me know when I start sounding like Caesar Romero’s Joker (still the best). Ha Ha! Ha Ha! Hahaha Ha!

SMOKE, GODZ & PIMP FREESTYLE

Normally you wouldn’t find me pimping family members but as nepotism is rife across the entertainment industry who am I to resist! I feel the urge to say something ‘yoof’ and I’d like to say those days are long gone but to be honest I never had them!!! I do know one thing and that is that Reggae was a very short-lived and almost inconsequential phenomena in Jamaica – even so Jamaican Rappers – that’s a new one on me!