THE STAR CHAMBER – AUGUST

You will have noticed dear, charming,  observant readers that you can now rate my ramblings! I know this will excite my many haters – you know who you are. Come forward now, without revealing your bland characterless faces and give me the kicking I so richly deserve by using the rating system of stars (surprised?) below each post. Only available for reasons best known to WordPress on the permanent link.

And let me remind you of the Star Chamber and its nature and purpose with a few well-chosen but recycled words: A whole heap o’ judges from all the four corners of Zudaland, sometimes twenty but never less than ten, consider, cogitate and then pronounce the order of ranking they would like to see at the very end of this month’s competition. Their rankings are put in a blender to make a spectacular Zuda-smoothie of a rank. Then we sprinkle some opinions over the whole shebang, tweak the nose of terror, publish and be damned. The judges get to see the actual numbers which is very interesting – so why aren’t you a judge already? Email me contact@mpd57.co.uk! No one actually in the comp is allowed to vote either unsurprisingly. But what does it take to be a judge you ask. Well, go on then. Ask! Thank you. Not much is the reply. A presense on the DC/Zuda message boards is all, a recognisable name and an email address. Such is the stuff that dreams are made of (ahem).

Although I take part in the ranking process (nobody ever agrees with me – sniff) the opinions below are not mine. Oh no, I would never say such things. You have my regular reviews for that (and I like to keep myself regular). I comment by the title on the general ranking position having taken all the judges comments and rankings into account. Read on if you dare …

The Star Chamber Ranking for August 2009

1. Physikon: It’s so tight for the top, but some judges are casting their nets over four previous entries I feel – naughty, naughty!

“Not the best story by this creator, but the artwork is consistent, clean, and above all good.“

“Seriously, introducing your entire ensemble of characters by name on page eight means its time to go back to the storytelling drawing board. This isn’t ready.”

“A well-crafted exercise, although I would have liked to have seen more of the people the narrator is talking to.”

“Backstory is always better when left in the back instead of pushed to the front. Don’t open the narrative with ‘a mysterious stranger’ – you should start with your main character.”

“Why couldn’t this have been named ‘Us and Them’, or ‘Eye of the Storm’? What does Physikon even mean? Besides the name: it’s a smart, psychological, sociological, thriller -which probably doesn’t have a chance in hell on Zuda.”

“I have faith if he wins, he will deliver.”

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2. Rogue Royal: A few judges had second thoughts about placing this higher on their lists but too late – the die is cast (whatever that means)!

“There are very few times when you can make a joke about killing babies that keeps building up to new and exciting baby killing jokes for multiple pages.”

“I thought about putting it lower but how can you not get drawn in by the light-hearted-ness of it all?”

“I don’t mind crude drawing and particularly obvious characters and situations when they’re funny or unique in their presentation. Uhhmn, which part of that sentence best describes this comic?”

“Initial skepticism was unfounded, this comic completely won me over with it’s comedy and action.”

“Ah, to be a twelve year old boy again.” [Er, I don't think that's a compliment - Ed.]

“CUTE! And awesome. And funny. This is all kinds of good. Just a teensy bit too sex-ay, which leaves me feeling dirty. I resent being forced to vote for boobs, so my reaction is to not vote for boobs. Sorry.”

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3. Octane Jungle: Tighter than gnat’s chuff to separate out the top three this month!

“The color palette makes my eyes hurt. The art is nice – the gore…woah! This one suffers from bad-choice-of-thumbnail-itis. Creators should choose these.“

“Great energy and an interesting environment and premise. Some high-octane obviousness to it that lose me at the starting line.”

“I think there’s a crossover with the Venture Bros planned.”

“Hot Rod comics are back, who would have thought that would happen? Too much drive-by weirdness and random shit for me to really enjoy it.”

“Great action, great dialogue, and great characters – I need to know more about the Baron!”

“Too many words. Too much colour. Too much ‘tude. This will probably win.”

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4. Arctic: An anonymous entry – marketing ploy, shyness, or wind-up merchant – you decide! Amazing how many people can’t spell Arctic (me included)!

“Nice and suspenseful if a bit cliché.“

“The writing and art work together to create an ominous tension. Large beautiful panels bring the character’s harsh environment into our living room.”

“Competent storytelling of a really boring approach to story.”

“Play a drinking game with the synopsis: Every time you read the words survivor, survive, or survival -take a shot. This should enhance an other-wise average reading experience.”

“The last page was almost enough to make me hate it. Ghost? REALLY?”

“This one kicks all kinds of ass. Love it. Great pacing and exposition. A light touch with the art and writing. More, please!”

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5. Absolute Magnitude: I think a couple of awkward screens turned a few judges off, but some saw past that!

“The art is great at times and not at others (characters often seem wooden, explosions are a little too “comic book”, expressions a little too Liefield). Fantastic story so far – I would be ok if this won.“

“I like big sci-fi themes delivered in comics and the ones here are interesting enough.”

“This comic actively tried to prevent me from reading it, but it failed, I read the whole thing, then wished it had tried harder to prevent me from reading it.”

“There’s a time and a place for over use of psuedo-science terms. The time is never … You can figure out the place.”

“While space pirates are always fun, the characters come off a little clunky – a few poses and a bit of dialogue could be further polished.”

“The narrative is a bit rushed, but that’s to be expected when trying to kick off a complex story in only eight pages. Appealing art, nice exposition with lots of eye-popping action. All in all, I love this.”

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6. A Stinking Corpse: Nice art – but for a comic strip or an art gallery? – not the same things at all!

“Beautiful artwork as usual. The story is much better than past entries. Give this guy a series already!“

“There’s competent drawing, but that, in and of itself, isn’t that significant a part of good comics.”

“Furman reveals once again that he is an amazing artist desperately in need of a writer.”

“Why did I feel like there should have been text about 20-sided dice in a sidebar?”

“The main narrative is unappealing: A bad guy summons a worse guy to kill some other badguys, who do I root for? Artwise, the thing about photo reference is that it shouldn’t look like photo reference or else it gets distracting.”

“Reading the synopsis helped tone down the stark, bleak worldview presented here, but the story and art lingered long after the screens were closed.”

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7. Bow and Arrow Detective Agency: Humour being so personal, unless everyone ‘gets it’ the strip becomes a tough sell!

“Great art. Quirky jokes. Totally offbeat.”

“Art is OK. Color…eh. Story is…eh. Title sucks.“

“Nice attempt, but the quirkiness really started to get on my nerves after page 5. The art and the writing were both too dense for me to enjoy it.”

“I wonder if the pace can be kept up through four pages a week? The artwork is quite good, but much more detailed than I’d expect.”

“Maybe I’m going blind, but am I the only one who found this hard to read even at full screen?”

“Reading all those horrid, mind-numbing, jokes (in that awful font) should qualify as mental cruelty.”

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8. If You See The Hills: High praise and damnation for this one – over heads or under radars – could be either!

“This is really well done…but nothing happens!!! I have trouble seeing the drama.“

“Jump! Jump! Jump! Sorry, but I stopped being interested in ‘coming of age’ stories when I came of age.“

“I found something annoying about the buildings. Weird reason to dislike a comic? Yeah, but they just seemed fake, dead.”

“A nice change of pace from the usual action/adventure, but … the art needs a bit more grit for all the disaffected youth on rooftops, which I have never seen so clean.”

“This one tries to be cute and disarming and it works. I like it.”

“Utterly perfect.”

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9. Cards Kill: Hard to tell why this didn’t capture the imagination, but the folks who follow this kind of thing seemed to know!

“Art is quite nice, but seriously…a card game? Really not into the story at all.“

“I could think of no reason, other than responsibility to this survey, for making it through the whole eight pages.”

“Liked this one better than I thought I would … filed under intrigued”

“Really loved the coloring and palette on this one.”

“Woe is me! I work in an office, where’s the devil to possess me when you need him?”

“Color scheme almost elevates it, but the look is too muddy and the premise is too borrowed.”

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10. Antique Books: Such was the spread of votes this month that eight comics got a top vote from at least one judge, including this one!

“Creepy art, creepy story. I could see this with colour, being a Vertigo or possibly a Dark Horse book.“

“…there’s definable talent and a unique voice here at least that I find lacking in the other submissions.”

“Wait for it…. wait for it some more… wait for it a bit more…. MONSTER ON PAGE 8. The end.”

“A nice colour scheme of beiges and taupes would have worked wonders for this … most of the story the narrator sits around and is bored. Guess how I felt?”

“The cryptic writing and broken narrative were difficult to absorb, and inner monologues are tough to pull off.”

“No.”

STAR CHAMBER – JULY

OK Zuda fans! Gimme a Z! Gimme a U! Gimme a … holy crap, I’ve been at this too long! Never mind, here is the new look all-different Star Chamber ranking for the month of July.

The new deal is thus. A whole heap o’ judges from all the four corners of Zudaland, sometimes twenty but never less than ten, consider, cogitate and then pronounce the order of ranking they would like to see at the very end of this month’s competition. Their rankings are put in a blender to make a spectacular Zuda-smoothie. Then we sprinkle some opinions over the whole shebang and slam the door in the face of fear, publish and be damned.

Although I take part in the ranking process the opinions below are not mine. Oh no, I would never say such things. I comment by the title on the general ranking position having taken all the judges comments into account. Read on if you dare …

THE STARCHAMBER RANKING

Here at last is the official Star Chamber ranking for June 2009 – you won’t find it anywhere else! A muted reaction from the judges this time with only thirteen taking part this time around. A little apathy maybe? This month’s entries have failed to find strong support from the judges this time with even the top ranked comic finding the judges in a foul mood. I wouldn’t set too much store by the whole thing this month, if ever you do. The competition is, as ever, not really about the Zuda regulars. Take a good look at the chart below and you’ll see a fairly wild spread of points. My reviews will come later, but for now at least you should be able to see that the tenth spot is not terribly far behind the top spot. Opportunities abound this month so if I were last I’d just getting working harder because this time the lead is not out of reach!

ZUDA & THE STAR CHAMBER

Another competition has kicked off over on Zuda with ten new comic strips eager for your attention. Last month you’ll note that the Star Chamber judges, 18 good men and women predicted the top two in the correct order. The rest were off but not by much, except for Amber Hale, Supermodel which rose to the third spot. This month I predict a much tighter race, but what do the judges think? You’ll have to wait until after the first Zuda ranking. The Star Chamber makes it’s decisions within the first 36 hours, some judges within the first 3 or 4 hours, but the results are only released after the first official Zuda ranking. The Star Chamber judges only want to report – they don’t seek to influence.

There will be another Star Chamber judgement this month on Zuda related strips, but even the judges don’t know all about that yet, so stay tuned.

I’ve also tried to remove all references to the dreaded W word on this site. Yup, that’s ‘webcomics’. As far as I’m concerned it’s all comics from now on, or, if forced into a corner, and so you all know what I’m on about, ‘digital strips’ will be the term that separates comics online from those on paper, though I hardly recognise the difference. It strikes me that those strips that do try to harness the possibilities offered by the web too often lose their sense of being simply a ‘comic’.  Just so you know my own terms the word ‘webcomic’ now denotes a short form strip that seeks to imitate the old fashioned 3/4 panel newspaper strips, unpublishable on paper (or rather in newspapers), barely even amusing, and mining cliched situations and lame gags (or more likely cheap sarcasm) for all they are worth. Humour at the expense of continuing narrative. I officially reject that form as having little to do with comics, or as much to do with them as Saturday morning cartoons, so basically nothing to do with them then.

That’s not to say I’m not a Calvin and Hobbes fan, I am, but it ain’t comics. I like political cartoons too, but they ain’t comics either. Maybe this month I’ll spend some time looking about the place to see if we can’t clarify by example what I consider to be a either a comic or a (ugh) ‘webcomic’.

THE STAR CHAMBER VOTES – MAY

The Star Chamber has sat and a verdict has been announced. Eighteen independent Judges have cast their votes below. Real votes cannot be assumed and final personal rankings may change. Reader interest can go up as well as down!

Although it seems obvious which are their collective favourites and least favourites there are some interesting spreads of voting if you look closely. In particular there is one judge who has placed the top two at opposite ends of his or her personal scale!  And of course if you take a look at the real rankings over on Zuda then you’ll see what a little marketing can do for your chances … and vice versa! My vote is in there this month, but if any other judges wish to come on board you’re more than welcome. This isn’t a clique remember, so if you don’t like me personally you’re more likely to be accepted not less . Independent voices are hard to come by so join today! Yuk yuk!

Personal reviews to follow shortly.

STAR CHAMBER – APRIL RETROSPECTIVE

The Judges votes for April 2009

Before the new competion kicks off I’d just like to remind you of our ongoing experiment to remove marketing from the voting equation. The above shows the voting from April’s competition by the current 12 Judges. We’ll have more judges for May but you can still join in by getting in touch directly with me at contact@mpd57.co.uk though you’re too late for tomorrow’s comp already.

Well, if you look at the final positions you’ll see that the collective mind only got one final rank correct and the eventual winner Earthbuilders only came in fifth with the small cross-section of regular Zudites. What does this tell us? Well, it’s only the first Star Chamber vote so maybe it’s a bit early for too deep an analysis, but if nothing else it looks as if Earthbuilders marketed beyond themselves. Myth perhaps could have done with any marketing at all – I didn’t notice that much, apart from a rather nice blog. Intergalactic Law: Grey Squad was one we got right and Cancer Troop 4 underperformed in a similar fashion to Myth. What do you think? I thought The Kind You Don’t Bring Home To Mother was going to win by a country mile. It was a quality strip, well marketed, but for me a little too much like what ‘webcomics’ already are. Did I really think it was going to go anywhere interesting after the first funny eight?

THE STAR CHAMBER VOTES – APRIL

Late last month … I had this crazy idea (one of many) about the rankings in the Zuda competition! What if there really was a panel of judges who voted using a slightly different system to the slightly mysterious one that Zuda uses? So I put out a few tentative feelers to a few of the Zuda regulars and here’s the result: The Star Chamber. Now before you get too excited this is not a chamber of ’stars’ as the name suggests, more a little joke of mine gone wrong – forgive me that. Google it for the history lesson.

It’s also nothing to do with that terrible movie either:

This is not a clique of like-minded people – far from it. These are people hand-picked to be as bloody minded and awkward as possible – the people least likely to agree with each other. Thus the Star Chamber consists of a number of interested people who want to vote on their reaction to the strips without any interest as to who does the best marketing. That marketing is a process of interest to Zuda and those competing, but not necessarily to those who just want to know what the best strip is.

This is not meant to be any kind of spoiler to Zuda site. It’s not a definitive result of any kind. It’s just an experiment to see how things might pan out if ‘marketing’ were not a factor. I’m not claiming this is fair or definitive by any means, just interesting to see how the results here tally if at all with the results in the general competition. Further than that I’m not trying to suggest even that a process like this would be fairer. I’ll leave that up to you. You are as free as you ever were to dispute what is on display here. Perhaps you think there are better ways of creating this type of data, fairer ways or different ways of analysing the data – whatever, let me know.

I think the data below is self explanatory but 10 points for your favourite down to one point for your least favourite. The scores are added up and the final ranking given in the last column. I think you’ll see that the spread of opinion amongst just these twelve people was pretty widespread. Especially when it came to that Penguin! It was the best AND the worst. I wonder how having more judges might effect that score?

The Judges votes for April 2009

So in this month there were twelve judges who all remain anonymous apart from myself. The judges will remain anonymous, although they are free to tell you whatever they like, should they choose to reveal themselves. Personally I think they should remain quiet, but that’s just me. The Star Chamber gives one rank only in the first few hours of the competition when most have read through each and every entry. It was made early but released only now so as to not influence too much any decision making by the other voters. Most regulars will have made up their minds by now. The rank above is the combined, considered rank of a number of interested people – ex-competitors, previous winners, bloggers, avid readers and commentators. A simple idea of the best comic wins as voted for by people interested in the critical analysis of the selected entries. These are not totally cold choices. The judges have their passions and prejudices. But those prejudices do not include nepotism or emotional or professional blackmail. Any judge seen to have a conflict of interests might have his ranking ignored.

If you have an interest in joining us to try and get a consensus on which entry is indeed the best strip in any given month then all you have to do is email me contact@mpd57.co.uk and tell me why you think you qualify as an interested party. I’m not interested in building or supporting cliques so evidence of your independent thought might be nice. I’ve been around since the beginning of Zuda, but that’s not necessary for you, you just need to be seen to be involved, interested and independent.

To be honest, since this is an experiment, I’m not entirely sure of the rules governing my own studies here. If you have any suggestions as to how this might give better data please feel free to contribute, either in the comments section below or privately by the email above. The secrecy of the judges identity is not in any way to try and fool anyone but is there to protect creatives who who want to express an opinion that is made difficult when you are in a group of your peers. I think we all know how difficult that can be for some people. Not so difficult for loud mouths and bloggers like myself.

A further note, my opinion is expressed in the rankings above but should we do this again I shall remove my own rankings from the results. That’s to try and show you that I’m not interested in my own opinion, more in yours. In any case the rank above does not accurately reflect my opinion, but it’s not wildly out of tune either.

There has been mention that these rankings are not explained or justified. Well, simply you all have an opportunity to express yourselves on the main site. Go to it I say. Give your feedback. This experiment is only interested in figures, voting patterns and final rankings unaffected by any marketing or white star invasions, any registration parties or myspace friending strategies.

Go on. What do you make of it? Want to play? (Damn, promised myself I wouldn’t say that)

Tomorrow – shock and horror as I return to commenting on the Zuda competition as it happens!!!